Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Travelogue: Little Things that Matter

India is a mess. That’s a given!
Any discussion to prove otherwise is futile, and to be honest, quite naive as well. Sure, we do everything in our power to make life easier for our fellow countrymen, I’m not denying that. Heck, I’d even like to believe that my PhD work might some day help our people live better lives through cleaner water and cheaper lighting.
But then, there comes a moment in our lives, when we’re hit by a massive reality check. It can be a little failure we experience, or the sudden passing of someone we love, or an accident. In fact, it could even be something as simple as a trip abroad, which is exactly what happened on my recent trip to Europe.
Sure, the entire continent put together, Europe has a population half that of India, and as expected, there isn’t too much traffic on the streets, no one’s after anyone’s lives on the trains, or trams, and you’re not going to go pardon to every second guy you bump into on the streets, on your way to work, or wherever! There aren’t that many people around!
But that’s not what hits you.
What hits you is how people respect civilian lives. Yes, Europeans are ridiculously heavy smokers, and they smoke anywhere and every where, which probably contributes to a lot of pollution, and yes, Europe is one of highest carbon emitters in the world, perhaps because they’re too busy beautifying their cities with regular halogen lamps, instead of switching over to more cost effective lighting, but let’s not go there for now.
The City of Strasbourg
So, I was in Strasbourg for while. Ever been there? It’s one of the most enchanting places I’ve ever been to. It’s not a very big town, and most places you’d want to go are usually walkable from wherever you are. At night, the city lights up, and it’s a sight to behold.
But that’s not the best part of the town. The thing I loved so sincerely here was ow much importance pedestrians were given over regular motorists. Or rather, I loved the way how people regarded road rules here.
Road Rules: How Mutual Respect between Motorists and Pedestrians Makes Way for Road Sanity!
For instance, the traffic lights might have gone red, and there might be just one car on the road. He’s still going to stop! I’m sure there are cameras watching and the fines imposed are ridiculously high and all, but the fact that the laws have been made in that way is something really commendable. I cannot imagine people doing that in India!
Once, a car came a little too close to a pedestrian crossing the road, screeched to a halt, and the driver apologized profusely, despite the signal being green for him! It was the pedestrian’s fault for which the driver apologised!
Ah, a distant dream in India, this!
And it’s not just the motorists, but the pedestrians, too! Pedestrians do respect the STOP and WALK signs as well. Even if there was not a single car in sight, we stopped when the signal was STOP, stared at empty roads all around, and waited patiently till the signal changed to WALK.
Who does that! I was overwhelmed at first. I’m Indian, and am used to the Indian way, or total disregard of, following traffic rules! So, it was natural, on my first day in Strasbourg, when I see no cars or incoming traffic, I calmly try crossing the road, like a boss, on a STOP sign! It’s only when I get to the other side, do I see scorns and condescension on people’s faces.
“What are we, assholes?” They seemed to say with their eyes!
Needless to say, that was the last time I did something like that.
The Importance of a Zebra Crossing and a Pedestrian
India is perhaps the only country where drivers don’t really give a fuck about people crossing the road, on a zebra crossing, or even in the middle of the road. There are several places in Europe that don’t have signals and drivers are the ones who stop and allow pedestrians to cross. They don’t drive like they own the roads and the poor sods crossing the roads don’t need to fear their lives. On a zebra crossing, signal or not, motorists alwaysstop and let people pass. Even if the roads are empty, or even if there’s just one person crossing the street.
I’ve never seen this kind of chivalry on the streets of India! In fact, this is perhaps almost unheard of. Sure, once in a while, you’ll have the odd driver who’d let people pass, but these guys are rare! It’s the other way around abroad. Even that a little country like Sri Lanka, gives so much respect to pedestrians, is heartening to watch.
Bicycle Paths
(Google Images)
This is something new - dedicated paths for cyclists. Okay, one might say there’s no space in India for dedicated cycle tracks like these, but, yes, there’s plenty of space. We just give more importance to motor vehicles.
Come on everybody, lets pack the streets with more cars! More cars, everybody!
But what you see here are dedicated cycle tracks. These cycle tracks sometimes encroach the roads, but motorists stay well clear of these tracks. It’s absolutely beautiful!
(Google Images)
This is a major thing in Europe. Be it Strasbourg, Amsterdam, Paris, or Zurich, cycling is an important mode of transport and there are specially laid out roads for these cities. Heavy fines are imposed on motorists who venture into these lanes and there’s a lot of respect one can see given to these cyclists. For that matter, even pedestrians who venture onto these streets need to be wary of cyclists who whiz through!
And electric bikes? Oh, man! They’re amazing!
In Hindsight
But yes, I suppose all these are possible when the total population isn’t very high, but we still have cyclists in India, don’t we? Another problem I suppose we need to deal with are the massive sizes our cities possess. One wouldn’t expect someone working in Whitefield cycle all the way home to Kamanahalli.
But then, if we talk about the smaller towns, say Tier 2 and 3 cities in India, we can probably see some light. Smaller cities like Indore, Ernakulam, Udupi, Asansol, etc. are not bad places to start if at all we think about incorporating these bike tracks.
But then, bike tracks are the least of the concerns. It’s about the regard for road rules that we need to focus on first. There’s no point promoting cyclists when no one gives a shit about traffic rules. You don’t want to be a cyclist cycling down your dedicated track, only to have some asshole come and run over you from behind.
If you see how vehicles get onto tram lines in Calcutta, you’ll know what I mean. It doesn’t matter if it’s for trams or cycles, if the track is on the road, it’s going to be taken over by motorists, for sure! So yes, until we do something about traffic violations and laws and fines pertaining to these violations, there’s no point going green on the roads!
But then, there’s no harm keeping hope, is there!

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

I'm Not So Lame, In Fact You Should So Shame....

Aaaaaaand I'm back!

What the fuck's up with the title, you might ask! Well, here's what..
This post kind of got a little famous on Quora and I thought of sharing it here on my blog. It's about a few little things that really piss me off! More than irritating, it was annoying and I have absolutely no idea how shit managed to escalate so fast!!
So, sometime in 2012, I accepted a friend request from a girl on Facebook who happened to have a few mutual friends between us.  Let's just call her Sonia! Assuming I had met her somewhere and just couldn't place her, I decided to get my memory refreshed with her help.
This is what happened:
And then all hell broke loose!! Here are the transcripts from that infamous conversation.
Sonia: hii
1/16, 1:43pm Neil Menon hey...
January 17, 2012
1/17, 7:46pm Sonia: heyy how r u???
1/17, 7:47pm Me hi....i'm fine.....u???
1/17, 7:54pm Sonia: how’s life going??
1/17, 7:57pm Me life's going good....umm...i'm sorry....but i can’t place u anywhere...have we met before???
January 18, 2012
1/18, 9:37am Sonia:Hey listen..i don’t want any chance from u. ok. And sorry for making friendship with u dude.u are not of my level. get lost.
1/18, 11:47am Me okay....i have no idea wot u mean...and listen...there's no need to be rude nor arrogant ok...it was a polite question i asked....whether or not i'm of your level, i don’t care!! Andn yeah...u'r the one who sent me the firend request....n i just wanted to know if we've met before....making friendship....hahahahahaha....so lame!!!!
1/18, 1:10pm Me and you don’t want any chance from me??!!! what on earth do you mean by that??!!sorry...but if that was supposed to be an insult....i'm not insulted..in fact i'm amused....i just can’t stop laughing now!!!
1/18, 4:00pm Sonia: ya i know that i had sent u request.....lekin galti to insano se hi hoti hai...so mujhse bhi ho gayi(but we humans make mistakes and I just made one).....and one more thing that you are not allowed to ask that type of question....so i’m not so lame in fact u should so shame....and you don’t a little bit that’s why you’re laughing... ..... and don’t take tension i’m just kicking off u from my friend list...i don’t need such type of rubbish friend...and now laugh again...
Here are the screenshots!


So, there you go!! This was back in 2012 and I still read this sequence of message for kicks!!
And you know what else irritates me?? Certain conversations I have with random people! I don't understand why bother messaging when you aren't really interested!
Random Girl 1: Hey, Neil. How are you? It's been so long! Bhule toh nai? (You haven't forgotten me, right?)
Me: Hey RG! Wassup! Long time, right?? Na na, I haven't forgotten you. Well, life couldn't have been better! I graduated from college and am now working as a writer in Bangalore!
(2 hours later)
RG: K! That's gr8!
Me (immediately): So, what have you been upto these days?
RG (half an hour later): nm
Me: nm? What's that? I'm sorry, I really don't get 'sms' lingo! I'm bad at this!!
RG (another half an hour later): nothing much
Me: Aaaahh! So where are you these days? Still in Delhi??
RG (an hour later): S
I guess S = Yes!!
By now I'm almost losing patience and decide to give this conversation one final shot.
Me: So, RG, last time I heard you were interning somewhere? CNN-IBN or something, right? Are you still there?
My phone stays silent for a few hours and then beeps. I check my inbox and see a her reply.
Displayed across my screen was one letter - S!
That was it for me. Maybe she was busy at work and didn't want to be disturbed. I don't know! I didn't care! So, I didn't!
No more messages were exchanged for the next five or six months.
And then she messaged again.
RG: Hey, Neil. How are you? It's been so long! How's life, yaar! What have you been upto??
Me: M f9!

Good times!